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Sunflower's Daughter/Prologue
This is the Prologue of Sunflower's Daughter, released in October 18th, 2013. A reissue was implemented in May 17th, 2015. Prologue I can’t really say when she started calling me… that. ‘Sunflower’s Daughter.’ Yes. This is justified. Meredith’s not here right now and nobody else is willing to listen. I want to talk to '''you'.'' I’ve been called many names by everyone around me. Charter’s one. But I don’t know where that came from. Then there’s… Mia. As in Mia Farrow. The… young her. People kept comparing me to her when one of my cousins brought it up. It stuck, but it was more of a trend… didn’t last too long. Beautiful lady… I don’t deserve her name. At all. Another one was… ah, I forget. So I guess we have to come down to Sunflower’s Daughter. It started when I was about six. My mom has just moved out of Leskovac, into this new world called the United States… and she was all alone. Raised me from the very beginning. I’d hear it then and there. She had just started to learn English. Yes, I know it’s a random topic! But it’s always the first thing I always remember about her. Whenever I go to this place... now that—she’s gone. It just stuck until I grew up to understand it enough. ‘Sunflower’s Daughter, Sunflower’s Daughter’… some days she just said the name, other times she explained why she called me as such. My mom isn’t—exactly someone you shouldn’t be listening to, since she’d take just about anything to put her mind in a different state. It could be weed. It could be LSD. Could be a lot of prescription drugs—stuffing them in her mouth like they were candy. Like she’d rather die from overdose instead of growing old and—and— Anyway—I was about eighteen, and she just went off on me when we were watching TV. “Nina, you want to know why I’ve offered you to the Sunflower?” she starts. “Because you’re not from this world. That the people of the Sunflower took you in. Nurtured you.” Mind you, she was smoking something. It was this really powerful stuff—something she got from one of her convert-monk-friends—seriously, it probably wasn’t even allowed in the US— A—anyway… “It’s all in your appearance. The color of your hair, as yellow as the flower’s petals… the brightness of your smile, as bright as the sun’s rays. The freckles on your cheek, sprinkles of pollen. Your voice, like the sun’s kiss…” I was surprised. It was—so sincere, like… she really meant what she was saying for once. I asked her if she was taking anything else with that herb on her pipe. She said I ruined the moment. That I really was this girl she was talking about. Nina Mladenović, aged 21, Sunflower’s Daughter. You’d never get that moniker anywhere else. Me and her… we’re a mess. I inherited her love for recreational drugs, but unlike her, I never took it a step too far. I only ever had five friends in my life—and you count too, my listener, or reader, whoever you are—and the only other people I knew were my cousins… on my mom’s side. Meredith, the gal I told you about earlier? She’s a different kind of friend. She—she’s my guitar. I’m not crazy. I have the ability to see her as a person. You should see her—she’s the prettiest Spanish lady you’ll ever know. Meredith ‘Lovelace’ Madresilva Roja—you don’t have to remember all of that, but that’s what she goes by. Again, I’m not crazy—her sheer beauty is what brings her to life. You really like to make me change topics, don’t you? Where was I… Oh, right. I’m not my mom. I never liked to drift from place to place, living in peoples’ couches or vans, going to some super secret sitar concert, or tie-dye shirt conventions or—or pearl-bead-shell-necklace-making-paloozas. I liked to stay home. I never got addicted to weed. Or heroin. Or pills. My mom did. Not me. I never hated daily American life and the American nuclear family. O—kay, maybe I do hate it—a little bit, like her… but I did go to school. I tried to—but it got difficult paying for it even though it was just a community college course or two— I was… I was a little bit like her. But not completely… I… was gonna take care of her. I was gonna stick with her through the twelve-step program since this was gonna be her third attempt—she “couldn’t fail now.” Not with me by her side. I thought I could—leave her forever. I hated her for hurting herself. For not minding me. Six months of crashing with a cousin, and I returned… Tsch… she wasn’t even there for me my whole life. After six she was pretty much gone. She tried… certain months, years, but it was mostly my aunt who looked after me… I miss her. … … I’m sorry about that. I usually don’t cry in front of anyone—or right now, any '''thing'—I hate it. I—I only cry if—if the kush is—strong, you know? When it makes me cough hard. Heh.'' Whe—where were we? Oh, yeah. HEY! The world’s in chaos right now. You probably missed that. Went right over your head. We wouldn’t be here, right now, sitting on Chill Bill’s car, all my stuff in the back, right? We wouldn’t be here right now, taking a few moments off before we go find my uncle and my cousin. No, not at all. If this city isn’t in shambles right now, I’d probably be trying to work on my degree, so that I can major in botany one day, tending to a garden full of plants as a career. Imagine that. We—we wouldn’t be seeing walking fucking corpses for a living, while we living humans tear each other apart. This world is fucking grand right now. Would you believe it? I wouldn't have been moving from city to city, looking for safety, feeding myself, defending myself because my life depends on it... You know, I think I was getting kidnapped a few nights ago. That’s—that’s pretty normal these days. I escaped, by the way, so good news for you. It’s this house. Visiting it always brings me back. To her. Everything wouldn’t matter, if only for a few moments... She’s… gone now. I don’t know where, but she is. Probably—dead, or one of those… Hey. Hey hey hey. Y—you’ve been a great listener-slash-reader, voice in my head. I really don’t know what I’d do without you. Meredith is already getting sick of me talking to her, so… I guess this’ll do just fine for now, right? Maybe if I speak the language of '''music' to her…'' Don’t tell me I’ve gone crazy. Seeing—human anatomy from a day-to-day basis. Fucking—fucking '''blood'! How the fuck can you live with that? I—I’m still here, still alive—but I never get used to it.'' You meet people with good intentions. You avoid those without it. Sometimes I can’t survive alone—that’s why I think it’s time to find them. My cousins. And… her. Maybe her. She could be someone I can protect. Someone who would need it. Category:Sunflower's Daughter Category:Sunflower's Daughter Chapters Category:Issues